Thursday, February 17, 2011

I really thought that this time around, I was going to be the most organic, hands-on mother there ever was. Attachment parenting? Check! Breastfeeding? Check! Co-sleeping? Check! So why did I (somewhere around 3am) want to detach my little one, slap a bottle or a turkey breast into her mouth, and put her back in her crib? Because she is breaking me down. I am starting to think that sleep deprivation is just her way of breaking me in now, so I am to weak to go on in her later years. It is a tactic, and a very wise one at that.

Most of the time, our little arrangement works out for us. The last 2 nights, she is nursing all night long. All night long. Did I say all night long? I am sorry, what I meant was ALL. NIGHT. LONG. If I moved in the slightest, she would "stir and search" like a baby bird. All night. Long. So we need a new plan. I need to get this little one out of my bed before object permanence kicks in. You know, the period of time when peek-a-boo is a fun game, and she has a memory that lasts more than 15 seconds at a time. I need to get her into her crib before she remembers that she doesn't want to be there.

Doesn't that just sound manipulative? Well she started it.

I knew when I started co-sleeping that we would run into this problem. I knew it. But I am too old to get up 4-5 times a night and function the next day. My precious little bottomless pit eats every 1.5 hours even now at 6 months old. I just can't do that. So I knew what I was getting into. I know that little tummies need food as often as they seek it, because their bodies know what they are doing. They need the food that often to help them grow. And isn't that important?

So now I have to try to devise a plan to get her out of my bed and nursing less each night. You see, this is where her brains come in. She has broken me down and I cannot see an escape in sight. I am a victim of a 6 month old. And she looks so cute and innocent...

We have under 2 months to come up with a plan before she truly is smarter than me and thus turning this into an unconquerable mission. I am pressed for time. I am also tired. Do they still have wet-nurses around?

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